Tag Archive | Fear

You Are One Decision Away …

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… From a Totally Different Life!

That thought can scare one into a freezing OMG mode – and do nothing at all.

Fear.

What if I do it wrong = FAIL.

What if I make a mistake.

What will people think of me?

I don’t know the outcome.

I’m not strong enough.

_______ (Someone) won’t like it – they will be offended – it will hurt their feelings.

I’m afraid of what they will do.

I’m not brave enough.

I’m not smart enough.

I’m not strong enough.

I don’t know how.

I’m too old.

Money.

I don’t have enough experience.

FAIL.

Sometimes, this is my brain …. Maybe your brain (a little bit?), too??  I mean, I can get going on that hamster wheel and spin, going nowhere with the best of ‘them’ – whoever they are.

hampster wheel

I know when I’m spinning.  I can feel its energy all through my body, when I spin.  My breathing is shallow, heart rate UP, flushed face, stomach swirreling … sometimes, my brain goes b-l-a-n-k, sometimes scenarios flash in milla-seconds.

Now-a-days, I stop.  I breathe.  I observe myself.  I observe the situation.

I look at my life.  I’ve gone through fear and I’m still here, stronger and wiser than I ever imagined!

Made mistakes/Did it wrong (Who is perfect??) = What did I learn? = Wisdom for the next time.

Making decisions is BRAVE.

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Photo by luizclas on Pexels.com

Making decisions MOVES US from where we are to … Somewhere Different.  In that Somewhere Different, we find out how strong we are, how capable we are, we learn new ways of doing things, we think different thoughts, we meet new people along the way.  Our world gets bigger and it’s really quite exciting.

In that bravery, we are being true to ourselves.  We are free to be who we are – regardless of what other people think of us, or how hurt they might be, or how their life will also change – because it will.

LIFE IS CHANGE.

Is it easy?

No.

Is it worth it?

Yes.

My Encouragement to You:  It’s ok to have a different life, if you are not happy with how life is going.  Where is Life taking you?  Honor yourself.  Honor your path in Life.  Give yourself permission to be brave (you’re braver than you know).  Give yourself permission to explore where your Spirit/God is prompting you to go.  Your gut is one way Spirit/God talks to you.  Listen.  It’s one step.  One decision to do one thing differently.  Big or small … you grow.  Tears and strength and WOW.

Every decision I’ve made, I’ve learned from.  I believe with all my heart – you will, too!

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I think I’m morphing into my Wise Old Crone phase!

The Blessings Continue For All Of Us …

Namaste

Debbie

www.debendres.com

 

 

 

Ripples of Compassion & Love …

We live in a world filled with compassion and love.  This world also can be cruel, where words and actions can darken our day and put fear in our hearts.  I’m choosing to put my time and energy into kindness and compassion.  Following the election, and some of the negative comments and beliefs about people who are disabled, or immigrants, or LGBT, or a color that isn’t white … or practice an unfamiliar spiritual path … has made me look at my life and realize how blessed I am because of these beautiful human beings, that could be put into categories of concern being disabled, not white, gay, etc …

I was raised being around people who were mentally and physically disabled.  My dad worked as a Recreation Specialist, in a State Hospital, passionate about seeing each person as an individual – perfect in their own unique way.  We kids played with them, learned how to square dance and snow-shoe with them, fished, climbed trees … all kinds of things!  Dad believed nature and being outdoors, provided an environment of healing and mixing up life with adventures was a good thing. He had a dream of creating a year-round camp geared specifically for the disabled.  As crazy as the idea was, he gathered amazing people with different skills and strengths who thought this dream was pretty good … and with alot of hard work and hoops to jump, together they made it happen.  The lives that continue to be touched through this camp are countless.  Compassion and love made/make this happen – lots of voices, lots of action … for beautiful mentally and physically disabled people. (His name was Dick Endres)!

http://www.campconfidence.com/

One of my best friends in college was gay.  He was a great guy.  Over-the-top-crazy-fun- gay-guy.  He didn’t ever want my mom to know he was gay, because they had such a good time together and he was afraid she’d reject him.  He just loved her, and compassionately kept his secret.

My sister is Korean.  She is amazing and the work she has done all over the world has touched many lives.  She has her own  management consulting firm with a long standing commitment to help international development agencies further their vision, mission and objectives.  Compassion and love in action.

Her boyfriend is African-American.  He has shown compassion with his loving care of both our folks, especially while they where dying.  He’s also been a teacher for one of my brother’s groups of friends who had not experienced any person of color – ever!

One of my grandson’s is disabled, struggling with mitochondrial disease.  He is incredible, as are his mom and dad and 2 brothers who put every bit of their life, their love, their compassion into making their lives together the best it can be – and it’s not easy – but they are doing it beautifully, in their own way.

I was married for 22 years.  We have 4 children.  It didn’t work, although he tried … he lived a life that wasn’t true to who he was and so much of his life had been lived in fear of people finding out …  he’s gay.  He met the love of his life and they’ve been together for nearly 20 years.  His parents and siblings love him for who he is.  When he’s in town, we’ll meet for coffee and visit and it’s good!  (It did take a while to get there)!  He’s got his own relationships with the kids. Sometimes, being true, compassionate and loving to yourself is the most important thing you can do.

I’ve been fortunate to be guest at a wedding with my sister – her friend is Muslim and the wedding was beautiful, compassionate and full of love.

I’m also a Licensed Wedding Officiant/Minister and have had the honor of Officiating a number of weddings, including couples who are gay and their marriages are recognized and legal.  They have experienced years of needing and receiving compassion and love.

And so no20161121_101051w, I wear a safety pin with a heart on it.  It’s my bridge of love and compassion reminder.  It indicates support for those in fear of being bullied or persecuted for who they are.  I want to honor race, gender, those with disabilities, LGBT, immigrants and those who practice spiritual paths other than my own.  It’s a bridge of love that crosses the barriers … oh, so many barriers … and recognizes the goodness and Light in others.  I’m handing them out to my friends … I can be a bit of a ripple of in this tiny corner of my world – it’s one thing I can keep practicing …

… compassion and love ….

 

 

 

Take a Breath & Try …

I have the most amazing ladies in my Book Club.  We’re unconventional, and eclectic and meet twice a month, simply because we marvel in each other’s company.  Sometimes we read a book and it will last for months, because we read a few chapters at a time and then share our thoughts and experiences.  Once, we took turns reading aloud, Gift from the Sea, by Anne Morrow Lindbergh.  It took a while, but we loved it, and followed up with visiting The Charles A Lindbergh Historic Site in Little Falls, MN and a fabulous lunch.  We’ve recently been watching inspirational TED Talks together and listen to speakers who challenge our way of thinking and affirm to us, how amazing we truly are.

Our latest book: Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear, by Elizabeth Gilbert.  We took a month to read it and a month of discussion – along with our own “Show & Tell”.  We challenged each other to share ways Big Magic has shown up in our lives.  We have writers, artists with a variety of mediums, story-tellers, photographers, travelers, builders, gardeners, sisters, mothers, aunts, grandmothers, daughters … I did say amazing ladies, didn’t I?  We’re breaking through fear barriers, sharing with each other, as we take a breath & try whatever inspirational thought = action happens to nudge us.  Those fear barriers … “What will people think of me?” … “I’m not good enough.” … are being tossed to the curb, and we find ourselves (I find myself), nearly giddy with the joy of doing for no other reason than joy!

One of my Big Magic moments happened yesterday.  First, a little history: My Grandma Grace was an artist – oil, acrylic and water color and painted until her passing at 93.  My mom took an art class in her 60’s and enjoyed her assignments, partly because she had to “make time to play”.  Dad made her an oak drawing table, so there was a designated space to create – she loved the time she lost, as she watched her creations unfold.  I have recently acquired her drawing table!  (It was stored away after she crossed over). In the last month, I have pulled out her and Grandma Grace’s art books, paint brushes, pencils, various types of paper and canvases.  I’ve looked at them, for weeks, neatly scattered in my den, trying not to be intimidated – ha!

Yesterday, I heard the words, “Take a breath & try …”

And so I did!

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Letting go of fear … (I’m sharing with you) … and being giddy with the joy of creating.  Not for money, or recognition, but simply honoring my Spirit, who always wants to guide and cheer me on – whether I’m ready or not!

Today, I encourage you to be open to magical moments.  Listen to Spirit’s nudges and then,  “Take a breath & try …”