… From a Totally Different Life!
That thought can scare one into a freezing OMG mode – and do nothing at all.
What if I do it wrong = FAIL.
What if I make a mistake.
What will people think of me?
I don’t know the outcome.
I’m not strong enough.
_______ (Someone) won’t like it – they will be offended – it will hurt their feelings.
I’m afraid of what they will do.
I’m not brave enough.
I’m not smart enough.
I’m not strong enough.
I don’t know how.
I’m too old.
I don’t have enough experience.
Sometimes, this is my brain …. Maybe your brain (a little bit?), too?? I mean, I can get going on that hamster wheel and spin, going nowhere with the best of ‘them’ – whoever they are.
I know when I’m spinning. I can feel its energy all through my body, when I spin. My breathing is shallow, heart rate UP, flushed face, stomach swirreling … sometimes, my brain goes b-l-a-n-k, sometimes scenarios flash in milla-seconds.
Now-a-days, I stop. I breathe. I observe myself. I observe the situation.
I look at my life. I’ve gone through fear and I’m still here, stronger and wiser than I ever imagined!
Made mistakes/Did it wrong (Who is perfect??) = What did I learn? = Wisdom for the next time.
Making decisions is BRAVE.
Making decisions MOVES US from where we are to … Somewhere Different. In that Somewhere Different, we find out how strong we are, how capable we are, we learn new ways of doing things, we think different thoughts, we meet new people along the way. Our world gets bigger and it’s really quite exciting.
In that bravery, we are being true to ourselves. We are free to be who we are – regardless of what other people think of us, or how hurt they might be, or how their life will also change – because it will.
LIFE IS CHANGE.
Is it easy?
Is it worth it?
My Encouragement to You: It’s ok to have a different life, if you are not happy with how life is going. Where is Life taking you? Honor yourself. Honor your path in Life. Give yourself permission to be brave (you’re braver than you know). Give yourself permission to explore where your Spirit/God is prompting you to go. Your gut is one way Spirit/God talks to you. Listen. It’s one step. One decision to do one thing differently. Big or small … you grow. Tears and strength and WOW.
Every decision I’ve made, I’ve learned from. I believe with all my heart – you will, too!
I think I’m morphing into my Wise Old Crone phase!
The Blessings Continue For All Of Us …
I’m snuggled in bed – Up way too early this morning!
Quiet nudges got me up for coffee, a pen and my journal.
Writing helps keep life real for me. Jumbled thoughts become clear, and it’s a meditation of sorts, allowing for Spirit/God to come through.
I am letting go – easier said than done! Truly though, consciously and mindfully, letting go of worry, mostly about my kids. What Mom doesn’t worry? What good does it do? (No good, what.so.ever.) They are big people now, living their own big people lives. I love them big – they love me big – so much gratitude in that.
Letting go of thinking I am “less than” … Still after all these years. I know I’m not alone in this. We women are too amazing to be less than anyone or anything. (What I’m telling myself – I’m also telling you …)
Be Confident. (My word for 2020) Own your gifts and talents. Stand tall. Be the leader. Be the Wise Woman. Be the Example. Be the Light. Be Excited! (Our brains don’t know the difference between fear and excitement – so I’m going to enjoy a lot of excitement in 2020). Act on Inspiration. Be Grateful. Be Vulnerable. (Yes, you are strong enough – I didn’t think I could be … and geepers, I’m sharing my journal with you.) Surround myself/yourself with creative, smart compassionate people who are smarter than I am/you are. Be still and listen … It is in the silence we are in the presence of Sprit/God and we are filled with everything we need for this moment.
The beautiful meditation beads are from my artist friend, Debby Hess. These 7 little beads are such a blessing. The medal says, “I am” … followed with a lava rock bead to apply my favorite essential oil, “Tranquility”, which adds to the experience. Following the beads … an Angel wing … of course! What a gift. If meditation beads resonate with your heart and Spirit, you can explore her delightful website HERE. We are going to do a Women’s Gathering in February, encouraging in Self Love and Nurturing for our Spiritual Well-Being – let me know if you’re interested and I’ll send you more details!
My Encouragement for You is Wisdom from Mel Robbins:
And so it is!
Here’s to our last day of 2019.
May the Blessings Be In 2020 … Peace and Love to You and Yours,
Christmas Eve had arrived. My snow village was up, and the tree lit, with hopes of Christmas magic. Holiday music was playing on the CD player. The Advent wreath had all four candles glowing. Smells of a home cooked meal lingered. Drapes were drawn, bringing a safe, cozy-nest feeling in the living room.
I was home. Alone. My choice. It was a good choice, despite my Mom insisting it wasn’t. My three boys were with their Dad, and darling daughter was enjoying Christmas with her new husband. Some of my siblings and their families were piled up at the folks. I stayed home to breathe.
It was the three-month marker following a four-year tumultuous path to divorce. My daughter and three sons had made it through the terrain of ups and downs, with their own medals of fortitude, grit and resilience. Only time would unfold the layers of scarred pain and the healing needed through love, forgiveness and, for me, the gift of faith.
It was the first time in forty-two years, I would be alone for Christmas. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine such a thing – ever. Life has a way of happening. Life shook me to the very core of my being, leaving me questioning love, life itself, and the depths of my belief in a church filled with rules and judgement that were becoming unbearable. Good church people – yes, and heart-filled gratitude for them, for they helped keep me sane when I felt insane and loved me when I felt unlovable. Bad church people – yes, in their gossip and judgments and keepers of the rules. I was so grateful they were NOT the God I wrapped my faith around. The God, who, in spite of everything, I rested in, prayed and listened to – and yelled and screamed at, in my darkest days and weeks and months – only to once again rest in … when I finally learned to be still and listen.
I wasn’t going to church that Christmas Eve, even with the admonishment received from a very well-meaning and fear-of-the-devil, Mom. I was staying home. I needed to let this holy night, melt into me. I pictured the bravery, fear, persistence, compassion and love Mary and Joseph experienced in the story of their baby, Jesus, being born. Theirs was not an easy journey, at all. They did it one step at a time. One leg of a journey, and then another. They asked for help. It was given. They were not alone. They had each other, but I imagine, it was a long and lonely journey for them. I like to think, their companion was faith, being true to what God was guiding them to do, despite obstacles.
For a while that night, I reflected on my last four years. I wished I would have quieted myself and listened to God sooner. I hadn’t wanted to believe what was true. Our marriage was over. My husband was leaving. He was finally being true to himself, while I fought, argued, begged, prayed and fasted for a miracle that was never going to happen. I was my biggest obstacle in moving on with life. The story I was telling myself wasn’t true. The story was mixed up with rules, and teachings of a church and some of society that didn’t honor him, as a gay man. God didn’t make a mistake. We made mistakes in how we were handling a really hard situation.
Fear was anchoring us all, deeply. Fear on so many levels. For a long time, it ruled us. Emotionally, we were all taking a beating we didn’t know how to handle, but we moved ahead, as best we could. I asked for help, knowing I could not do life without it. I got it. I was not alone. The younger boys went to counseling. The youngest got a Kinship partner, who, with his wife, created a vision for my son on what a happy marriage looked like, he was only 6 when life turned upside down. With the help of a friend, who went with me to the doctor, I dealt with depression and thoughts of suicide. I got into counseling. I went through a Co-Dependency Program – twice, the first time, didn’t stick. I went to Al-Anon. I left a church filled with judgement and rules I could not follow, nor embrace anymore. I took off my rose-colored glasses and saw Truth and Life as it really was. Faith was my quiet companion, present, in the darkest dark and the dawn of days. God never left.
So, that first, quiet, Christmas Eve night I spent alone, was hard, necessary and desperately needed. Nestled in the quiet softness of the night, I could feel a flicker and then, a glow in my heart. Faith was present. God was present. Unexpectedly, forgiveness began to seep into every round edge and corner of my being. I forgave myself for being such a crappy Mom and began to see a Mom who really tried and didn’t give up. I let tears flow and forgave their Dad. Like me, he traveled mountains and came through, true to himself. The gift of time has been a friend through the years. It has taken lots time and lots of years, for a friendship between the two of us, to rekindle. And it has. Thankfully, our kids have their unique love for both of us, too.
It was a magical Christmas Eve. It was a blessing. It was a new beginning filled with bravery, compassion, persistence and love for life, my children, my future and myself. Wisdom was present because of lessons I learned and experienced … wrapped in the gift of faith, and a gentle glow of peace and joy.
My Encouragement to You:
Ask for help when you need help. Even if it’s scary – be brave and do it. Trust your gut, it won’t steer you wrong. I would have enjoyed life sooner, if I would have trusted my gut.
I know it’s hard, but … let go of what other people think of you. Your priority is you. Do what you have to do, to get healthy and strong. I didn’t want people to know the secret I was living with. I didn’t want to disappoint anyone. I didn’t want to be judged. I didn’t want to feel anger or fear … and I experienced all of it. I pretended, I stuffed, I ignored and denied the stanch presence of Truth because of what others might think. Pretending everything is ok, only hurts the pretender … and really doesn’t fool anyone. That energy is felt by those who love you. Love your incredible self and take care of you. You will have people in your life who will help. Don’t let pride get in the way, like it got in mine. Let it go, in order to move forward.
Forgive. It’s a big deal. Forgiveness is for you. It’s a huge part of healing. It’s a gift to yourself. Even if you have to do it over and over again. Forgive.
Let time be your friend. Life is a journey through time. Every choice creates a lesson learned, a nugget of wisdom – a yay or a nay. Thankfully, life is filled with practicing moments and days and years. It’s how we become wise!
If you can, embrace the gift of faith. For me, God is that gift. A quiet knowing that in the whole big picture, I am not alone. Thank goodness. It is my wish for you.
Blessings and Love …
Being Me. Life. Stories. Lessons. Awareness. Faith. Denial. Heartache. Truth. Wisdom. Love.
Becky, Me & Pam
We 3 crazy fun friends, took the day to celebrate the Autumn Exquinox and headed to Itasca State Park. Wow, it was a fabulous day, filled with fun side-stops, laughter and treats.
Of course, we splashed (I started it), and walked across our beautiful Mississippi River …
We spent some time in the woods, replenishing our Spirits, and took moments away … in our own directions for quiet reflection.
One of my favorite poems kept echoing in my heart as we wandered through the forest. You can join me … it’s best when you go slow … very, very slow …. pause and breathe …
Trees … by Joyce Kilmer.
I think that I shall never see, a poem as lovely as a tree.
A tree whose hungry mouth is pressed against the earth’s sweet flowing breast;
A tree that looks at God all day, and lifts her leafy arms to pray;
A tree that may in summer wear, a nest of robins in her hair;
Upon whose bosom snow has lain; Who intimately lives with rain.
Poems are made by fools like me, but only God can make a tree.
~ ~ Sigh ~ ~
It was a fantastic day, indeed! Nothing like being swooped up in Mother Nature to see and feel the miracles our earth holds for us. What a gift to all of us.
Thanks for joining me on the journey.
My Encouragement to You: Take some time to get your feet in the grass, the pine needles, feel the sand stick between your toes – the stones that will give you a great reflexology treatment! Lean against a tree. Pause and see all the beautiful leaves, each floating in the breeze, waiting to be discovered by an appreciative eye – their gift to you. Embrace single moments and breathe with a grateful heart.
Blessings and Love,
I am an Energy Worker in Brainerd, Minnesota. Cultivating Quiet Healing From Within Since 1990.
Lake Superior Driftwood Inspiration … Which Path to Take?
DEB Art – Dream. Embrace. Believe.
Many of us have a special place that is healing for us. Renews us. Welcomes us. Accepts us just as we are. The shores of Lake Superior is ‘that place’, for me. This piece of driftwood called to me, as I was reflecting on life. I picked it up and brought it home.
The driftwood looks like a road to me – Life clear sailing – straight ahead … until there comes a Y. Now I have to choose. Life is full of choices. Some choices are black and white, clear as day. Others are fuzzy, spider-leggy – going out in every direction. Living life – we choose. The thing of it is … any choice … it’ll be ok. Mistake? Lesson learned. Make a new choice. Thank goodness for options, hm? Not choosing, is also a choice, which took a while for me to understand … I get it now.
Author, Mike Dooley, has a great analogy. He talks about a GPS System we put our outcome on life into – our destination choice.
(My friend, Cindy, referred to GPS as God-Powered-System – love it!). Once it’s entered, we trust the GPS to get us ‘there’. Sometimes, there are detours, unexpected stops, open-flying freeways – you get the idea. We simply trust, the GPS will ultimately get us there … despite worries, despite unforeseen happenings, despite overthinking something to the Nth Degree … we get there. Wisdom teaches us … worry doesn’t help … nor does overthinking. That GPS – God-Powered System – has our back.
I loved how the driftwood Y’d out … and came back to center. I put a clear crystal in copper (connection) with a feather = Spirit/God. The beads and shells are choices and experiences along the way. One took a little bit longer, meandering and experiencing life, but all came from the center.
My encouragement to you: Trust. Make choices as best you can. There will be mistakes. There will be lessons learned. You will become more wise with each lesson you experience. Life isn’t always a open-flying freeway – enjoy it when it is. Breathe through the detours. Trust (again). Take time-out to enjoy a place that fills you up and restores you. Don’t forget to ask for help when you need it … and be grateful for the blessings that unfold.
How’s your journey going?
Thank you for joining me on mine!
I am fortunate to host 3 Women’s Circles throughout the month. We gather to share friendships, wisdom, vulnerability, stories, healing energy, faith and Love. We are incredible, strong, nurturing women, weaving our stories together … and realizing Spirit/God … the Thread of Life … makes us One.
Summer Solstice happened to land on this particular Friday Morning Circle! I love the healing energy meditation with drumming can be, and and so I invited everyone to bring their drums and we would use them to welcome in Summer Solstice. (I had gifted my drum to a dear friend a while back, and while I’m waiting for ‘just the right one to cross my path’, Soul-Sister, Cynthia, shares one of hers with me.) This particular Circle, happens to be women who do a variety Energy Healing modalities. We spend focused time in meditation along with healing work for each other, in addition to friends who have requested healing energy … and our planet … environment … political world … it’s an incredible group of women!
Summer Solstice welcomes in a new season. One of patience. We’ve thawed, gotten rid of old stuff and planted seeds. Seeds of hope, strength, kindness, wisdom, self-love. It takes patience for seeds to grow. They/we need to be nurtured with love, sun, water, moon-light (sleep) … and the gift of time. Through the summer we WILL grow. Life will provide all kinds of adventures and lessons. We will grow more into who we are. It’s easier to play when daylight stretches and warmth encourages us to be outside and enjoy nature … We get stronger. We feel stronger. We breathe deeper. We see Life around us. We, ourselves are a part of Life in this summer season. Body. Mind. Spirit. Let’s enjoy this ebb and flow of summer … with patience and growth.
And so …
Welcoming Summer Solstice.
We felt the heart beat and the faithfulness of this beautiful summer season … wrapped in our Circle of Love.
Thank you for joining me on the journey. Please like and share!
Blessings and Love,